


Drabbles

by MagnusLightwoodAlecBane



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Depression, Drabble, Episode: s03e18 The Beast Within, Episode: s03ep17 Heavenly Fire, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-01-07 08:18:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18406733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagnusLightwoodAlecBane/pseuds/MagnusLightwoodAlecBane
Summary: A collection of small fics set in the canon universe of Shadowhunters.





	1. Who will fix me now?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever posted work, be gentle please.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A moment inside Magnus' head during the last scene of 3x17: Heavenly Fire.

He needs to get out of here.  
He can't show weakness like this.  
He's lost. He's broken. He's still alive, isn't he?  
He needs to get out.

He stops.

Magnus tries to gather his thoughts, tries to come up with an excuse to leave.  
Even though his subconcious tells him Alec won't judge him, all he can think is _Alec doesn't want a man like this_.

A worthless, useless, a joke, selfish excuse of a man. He can't breathe.

NO. Stop. He needs to leave. Tears threaten to fall over the edge of his eyes.  
Just like he fell over the edge just seconds ago. Just like he wants to fall over an actual edge.

He runs. 

Alec stops him. "Magnus, I love you, I just want to help you."

He can't. He can't he can't he can't. No one can. He's nothing.

"You can't."

He breaks.


	2. Stay with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The break up from Magnus' POV

At first he uses logic.   
Alec’s arguments don’t make sense.   
They don’t match with what he said before.   
He said he wanted to help him, Alec wanted him to stay, Alec loved him despite what had become of him.

When that didn’t work, he resorted to emotion.   
He begged Alec, he cried, he held him, he kissed him.   
Alec didn’t kiss him back. 

“Stay with me”. He whispered.   
He was desperate, Alec needed to understand.   
“Please”, he thought, “please understand.   
Please don’t leave me. Stay. Can you do that for me?”  
He felt it even before Alec said the words.   
He had already let go of Alec’s neck. 

He knew.

“Magnus. I can’t”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hurt okay.


	3. One of them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why Magnus left the bookshop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some pain.

Of all the reasons why he didn’t break down right then and there, it was because he respected Maryse too much to make a mess of her bookshop. Maryse. Maryse Lightwood. A shadowhunter. 

 

He respected one of  _ them  _ too much. That same species that had caused him pain throughout his entire life. The ones he’d been on the run for. Those he’d been haunted by, both physically and mentally. The same people that burned the plates he touched, because they might be contaminated. The people he had fought to the death. 

 

The only people he had never regretted killing. She was one of them. 

 

And all because of him. The exception. The man that Magnus thought he could trust, the only shadowhunter that would never put a knife in his heart. To his credit, it wasn’t a physical knife.

 

And so Magnus left, roaming the streets with nowhere to go.


End file.
